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Ibyishimo n'umunezero mu mushyikirano mpuzabitsina









Ibyishimo n'umunezero mu mushyikirano mpuzabitsina par Latoute


Iyi nkuru yanditswe na Latoute






Mbanje gushimira Bangambiki washyizeho iri huriro nibwira ko rizafasha benshi mu kuzubaka zigakomera; nshimira na buri wese ugira icyo ahatangariza kugirango bigire icyo byungura uhasuye!



I.Kugira ibyishimo n'umunezero mu mishyikirano mpuzabitsina



Iby'urukundo ni ibintu byimbitse kandi bitanagoye gusobanukirwa cyane iyo hagamijwe kunoza imishyikirano mu guhuza ibitsina.



"Igitsina (Imboro n'Igituba) si iyobera nkuko bivugwa, Igitsina cyaremwe n'Imana , kiremanwa ubuhanga butangaje; cyaremwe muri gahunda yo gushimishirizwamo imibonano mpuzabitsina(cyane iyo iteguwe neza );ni naho dukomora urubyaro (mu gihe habaye gahunda yo gusama). "



Iyi nyandiko nubwo abenshi basanzwe bazi ibiyikubiyemo byabaye ngombwa ko hifashishijwe ubutumwa butandukanye bw'abasura blog "igituba" n'ubuhamya bwa bamwe bagaragaza ibitekerezo byabo; yegerezwa abakunzi ba blog n'inshuti zayo kugira ngo igirire akamaro abayisoma.



Nubwo yibanda cyane ku bikorwa rusange mu rukundo , hagamijwe icyavuzwe haruguru, iranibanda ku ruhare rw'umukobwa n'umugore mu gutegura ejo hazira amakenga mu gihe azaba ageze mu rwe..



1.Imyiteguro y'umukobwa mu guhirwa n'umubano wo gushyingirwa



Gushinga urugo rugahama kandi rukizihirwa ntibiterwa gusa nuko umugore ari umunyamirimo,ahubwo umukobwa witeganyiriza umunezero ashingira ubwenge, ibitekerezo n`ibikorwa bye ku muco wamureze, ugahora umubera nk`iriba avomamo ubuhanga bw`umubano utabangamira rubanda, kandi ntubangamire uwamushatse. Ahora yibuka ko ari we ruhimbi igihugu gishyinguraho umuco wacyo, byonyine bikamubera urumuri mu myifatire ye kuva yitwa umwari kugeza abaye umukecuru rukukuri, atyo agahora yitwa NYAMPINGA. Umukobwa amenyereza kandi na we yimenyereza kwakira abamugana; bityo abakuru n'abamukurikira abadabagiza bose abasangiza ubupfura bakamwita NYIRARUGWIRO.



1..Imyitwarire


Umugore wese aberwa no kugira urugwiro, ibambe n'ubwuzu kandi akaba aribyo ashyira imbere mu mishyikirano ishingiye ku bitsina.Aba yaratojwe kubihorana na we ubwe yarimenyereje kubigaragariza abo babana, ku buryo atajya agira ikimuzindaza ku mugabo wamwishakiye; ndetse niyo mpamvu umukobwa witegura gushyingirwa yibanda kunoza umuco n'imico myiza mbere yo kunoza umubiri, akurikije amajyambere, nayo ubwayo adahwema kwivugurura.



Buri mukobwa agira ishusho imuranga igizwe n'isuku,imvugo, umurimbo w'imyambaro n'imisatsi, isuku y'umubiri cyane igitsina kuko nayo ari isoko y'umunezero! Imvugo nayo yerekana imico ya nyirayo kandi ni ingenzi mu mubano w'abantu!



Umukobwa urimba ashimisha rubanda, agatera umugabo ishema (iyo yiyambitse umwambaro wa gikobwa, arabyina akizihira ibirori mu kibuga) agahora amwishimiye kandi ibyo byishimo bikagaragara mu mibanire n'ibikorwa byabo, maze urugo rwabo rugahora rususurutse! Ibyo nabyo agomba kubitegura!




*Inzitizi


-Ubujiji bwonona ingo nyinshi kuko buzitira ubwumvikane bw'ababana bikadindiza n'iterambere ry'urugo!



-Ubukubaganyi bw'umukobwa bwonona ubwumvikane bw'abashakanye kuko umutima nama we uhora ubimuryoza akabura amahoro ku giti cye, bigatuma n'uwamushatse aburirwa n'amahirwe amutezeho.



Umunezero muhire umukobwa awiteganyiriza cyane cyane yirinda icyo ari cyo cyose kimwangiriza ubusugi ku mubiri, kuri roho mu bitekerezo no mu myifatire, abasore benshi bakunze kuvuga ko nta mukobwa w'isugi ukibaho(ugifite akabambano ndangabusugi),na none ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko gashobora gucibwa n'izindi mpamvu cyane nk'imirimo myinshi inaniza cyane umubiri, n'imikino ngororangingo imwe n'imwe; ikindi abahanga mu miterere y'umubiri basanze iyo "nyegamo" Atari yo iranga ubusugi bw'umukobwa nyabwo, kuko hari uvuka atayifite! Na none hari


umukobwa ubonana n'umugabo kandi akabambano ke ndangabusugi ntigahungabane na gato.



Ubusugi bw'umukobwa burangwa n'imyifatire ye mu mico, mu migenzereze, mu mibanire na rubanda no mu busabane na bagenzi be.umukobwa urinda ubusugi, yamagana icyo ari cyo cyose kimutera ikinegu imbere y'ababyeyi n'urungano ntiyitwe icyomanzi.



2.Ubuzima bwiza:



Umukobwa witegura yiteganyiriza umunezero, arwanyiriza kugira ubuzima bwiza kuko ari yo ngingo y'ireme mu mibanire ya babiri: agomba kugira amagara mazima kugirango kugirango abshe kwihanganira ingorane zo gusama no kubyara kandi ashobore gucunga ubuzima bwiza bw'abana, bw'umugabo we, n'ubw'abo mu rugo bose kuko nabyo ni umurimo we; azirikana ko ari we mugore n'umubyeyi w'ejo, kandi mu ngorane zimwe na zimwe arahaguruka agakora kigabo.



Abibuka iby'ubuzima ni bacye , ni ngombwa rero kwisuzumisha kwa muganga ngo barebe ko ari bazima mbere yo gushyingirwa ngo "ejo batavaho bashyingiranwa ari abapfu(ba nyakwigendera)"!Biba byiza umukobwa yisuzumishe ndetse akabaza ibibazo muganga kugirango ajijukirwe, ibyo bituma abazabana bashirana amakenga kandi bombi bakabana bizeye rwose ko ari bazima!



*Impungenge



-Abakobwa benshi batinya kwisuzumisha kubera gutinya ko muganga yamusangana indwara cyangwa se akamenya ko ajya akubagana, anatinya ko yamusangana ubugumba cyangwa se izindi nenge, hakaba niyo atinye kwerekana ubwambure bwe cyane cyane iyo akiri isugi, iyo atinyutse, hari bimwe na bimwe abwira muganga kugirango amusuzumane ubwitonzi, hakaba n'ibyo muganga yishakishiriza:igihe agira imugongo, uko aribwa, uko umutima utera, nuko ibihaha bikora kandi akamusuzuma inkari n'amaraso; agasuzuma amatako y'umukobwa areba uko ateye niba atazagira ingorane mu mishyikirano cyangwa niba azabyara bitaruhanyije,…ibyo byose umukobwa abikora agirango yiteganyirize umunezero ku giti cye n'uw'urugo rwe muri rusange, akazirikana ko indwara zishobora gutera ikibazo gikomeye mu byerekeye umubano, ndetse zikanavutsa abashakanye amahirwe n'umunezero n'urubyaro.



Impamvu zo kwisuzumisha



-Kwisuzumisha kwa muganga bifitiye akamaro umusore n'inkumi bashaka kubana bibarinda ibizazane n'ingorane bitabarika.Bituma bombi bishimira kubaka no kubana kandi uwo mubano bakawuha icyubahiro gikwiye.Bituma umukobwa ashira amakenga kandi agasobanukirwa n'umurimo nyakuri mu mubano w'abashakanye; bombi bategura ibyishimo n'umunezero birambye mu muryango.



II.Ubwumvikane mu mushyikirano



Iki gice kirarebana n'igihe umusore n'inkumi bageze mu rwabo n'umurimo w'ibanze ubategereje: na none nk'ibimenyerewe, ndibanda ku bigereranyo kugira ngo birusheho gusobanuka neza; cyane ko hari utumva icyo umugore amarira umugabo mu gihe barimo guhuza ibitsina, abagore benshi bibwira ko ari umurimo w'abagabo kurongora abafasha babo, bo ntacyo babafashaho, ugasanga umugabo ni we ugoka arongora kandi bagomba kurongorana ndetse bombi bakumva uburyohe kimwe!



Urukundo mu bashakanye rugaragarira mu bikorwa byabo byose no mu mibanire ya buri munsi. Kumvikana ntibabiterwa gusa nuko buri wese anogeye undi, ahubwo nukuntu bafatanyije mu mirimo mpuzabitsina nukuntu babyitayeho.



Umurimo w'urukundo mpuzabitsina wagereranywa n'ikivi bateruranye bombi maze bamara kugisoza bakishimira hamwe ibihembo bibategereje, mu gihe bagihinga umugore ntiyakwirushya ngo akenyere ageze ku birenge cyangwa ngo yambare imishanana (imikenyero), ntiyanambara ibimukobetse ngo bimubuze gutambuka no guterura isuka ngo asoze ikivi cye kandi umugabo adashoboye guhinga aha bombi: umugore yirwanaho akoresheje uburyo bwe, ubwenge n'imbaraga ze agatura ikivi cye. Na none ashobora kwiyambaza umugabo we igihe ageze ahakomeye akahamukubitira isuka, igihe ahuye n'ikibuye akakimuhigikira, yagera ku gihuru akakimutemera; ndetse byaba ngombwa akamusaba kumutangirira ikivi yananirirwa hagati ati"nzamura". Bagakomereza hamwe uko babishoboye, ikivi bakagitura, bakabona gusangira ibihembo n'umunezero bakesha umurimo wabo.



Imbogamizi: niba umugore adafite imbaraga zihagije zo gusoza ikivi cye, cyangwa se niba yahishe umugabo we ko akeneye inkunga, ntamubwire n'ukuntu yifuza ko amuyamba, azamusiga aharure icye undi akiri epfo yaharuhiye. Ibyo bimutera umwaga n'uburakari, ashobora kwivumbura kubera umujinya ibyo gusoza ikivi agaparikiraho ageze. Nakomeza atyo nta na rimwe azanezerwa ngo yishimire ibihembo by'umurimo we; kandi nta rimwe umugabo we azamwishimira. Niho havamo ko umugabo amusiga mu rugo akijyana yagira amahirwe akabona umufasha icyo kivi! Nyiranaka na we akaguma muri iyo "routine" ngo ahari niko zubakwa azira kudasobanura!



Ubuzima bwiza, imbaraga, urugwiro,urukundo, Ibyo byose ni Intwaro z'umugore wifuzq ko umurimo we mpuzabitsina uba indakemwa: bituma ahora yibuka ko nubwo umugabo we ashobora kumufasha adashobora gukora aha babiri. Iyo bamenyereye gufashanya no gusangira ibyishimo by'imishyikirano yabo, baba barageze ku bwumvikane bukomeye, kandi ibyo byishimo bikababera urumuri bahora barangamiye mu buzima bwabo kugeza batandukanyijwe n'urupfu.



Ibyo bisaba kwihangana (mu minsi ya mbere y'ubugeni akenshi buri umwe agenzura ibyo akoze ko bishimisha mugenzi we: guhoberana, gukina, gusomana, …); ibyo iyo bimenyerewe bikorwa nk'ubufindo nta witayeho kureba icyo undi abitekerezahono , binasaba kubahana n'urukundo.



Umugore ufite amagara mazima kandi ukunzwe n'umugabo we nta kimubuza kwishimira umurimo w'urukundo cyane cyane igihe na we akunze umugabo. Mwene uwo, iyo imishyikirano itamunogeye arababara.Ashobora no kuba yikundira gusa udukino tubanziriza igikorwa cy'urukundo nyacyo, kandi ntibimubuze gufatanya n'umugabo we cyangwa se kumwihanganira muri icyo gikorwa.



Hari abagore bamwe babona ko umugabo yifuza kubashimisha byimazeyo,nabo bagasa nkaho bishyimye koko kandi Atari byo. Burya ngo biraruta, ndetse kenshi bituma umugabo n'umugore babana neza. Byerekana nibura ko umugore yishimiye urukundo muri uwo munezero. Byerekana kandi ko yumva icyo mugenzi amukeneyeho kandi ko yitwararitse kurangiza uruhare ashinzwe: gutera umugabo inkunga, akamuha umwanya n'uburyo bwo kugaragaza ubugabo bwe. Koko rero umugabo akunda ikintu cyose kimutera ishema n'ubwishongore. Biba bibi gusa iyo abonye ko rwose umugore atamwishimiye ahubwo ko amuryarya.



Abahanga kandi bavuga ko umugore adakeneye kurangiza, aribyo kugera ku byishimo by'indunduro kugirango asame kandi abyare. Ibyo birajyana nuko abagore benshi batazi kurangiza cyangwa ibyishimo by'indunduro icyo ari cyo,uretse ko bagenekereza bakurikije ibyo bumvana abandi mu biganiro cyangwa bahereye ku bwumvumve biyumvira ubwabo: ibyo gusa!



Ingaruka zo kutagera ku byishimo birunduye ku mugore



Na none akamenyero ko kudashyikira ibyishimo by'indunduro buri gihe gashobora kumugirira nabi. Iyo umugabo amwegereye arashyuha, umubiri we wose ukikanga ukanguwe n'urugwiro n'ibineza neza amufitiye; icyo gihe umugabo yagomye kumushimisha ku buryo ibyishimo bye bigera ku ndunduro, akarangiza. Kuko iyo bitagenze gutyo biba bibi: buri gihe uko batangiye uwo muhango w'urukundo, ibyishimo biramusaga, ubwenge bwe bwose bugakanguka,ibinezaneza bikaba byinshi kuko aba yizeye kugeza ibyishimo ku ndunduro. Iyo abibuze ya mizero arapfapfana akababara, umubiri ugasuhererwa, umutima ugaserebera, akumva yinjiriwe. Ubwo mu mutima hakavuka igihu cy'ibitekerezo bibi, bimwoshya kuzinuka uwo mugabo udashoboye kumushimisha ngo amugeze ku munezero yari amwizeyeho. Ikindi umugore ntashobora kwifuturira impamvu y'ibyo bitekerezo bimwangisha umugabo .



Gupfukiranwa mu mishyikirano nk'iyo bitera inkeke, bigira n'izindi ngaruka mu mibereho ye no ku giti cye, bikamugaragaraho mu buryo bwinshi.



Inkurikizi z'izo ngaruka



Abaganga n'abacamanza bavuga ko bumva menshi mu makimbirane n'imanza z'abashakanye kandi atagirana isano n'I;pa;vu nyakuri ituma batumvikana ari yo: imishiyikirano yabo.



Umugore agera mu Rukiko akarega umugabo we kuba indangare, injiji, kugira imico mibi, akamurega ubusinzi, ubugugu cyangwa gutagaguza. Akomeza avuga ko ntacyo yitaho cyo mu rugo,ko nawe ubwe atamwitaho (nyamara ntanasobanure n'impamvu n'aho bipfira). Akavuga ko yibera mu gakungu k'abamushuka, ageraho akamurega ko anywera itabi mu buriri, cyangwa ko ari igisambo, amaurga ko agera mu kiryamo agasoma ibinyamakuru, ko afungura radio ikamumena amatwi, akavuga ko ahora ajya gutera cyangwa kogeza umuira, ko atajya arya ibyo yatetse, ngo ntakunda abana,ngo yanga abaturanyi, ngo ntasura incuti,…. Yewe! Ari iby'umugabo avuga aribyo akora byose bimutera umwaga, rimwe na rimwe agakeka ko umugabo abikora nkana ngo amuhime,! Abo hirya bo bamwita ingare, ngo ni ukushizi w'isoni (ntabe akiswe Nyampinga), nyamara baba bata igihe kuko agahinda afite katagira urugero, kandi ntaho kaba gahuriye n'ibyo babona, kaba gashingiye ku bubabare bw'urusobekerane rw'imitsi y'umubiri wose na we ubwe adashobora gusobanura.



Mu mibanira y'abashakanye, amakimbirane ntabura, ariko! Nubwo "incident" yabazamo bakaremana inguma,urukundo rwabo ntiruhumana iyo imishyikirano yabo ishingiye ku bitsina inoze, hari igihe banarakaranya nk'umugabo amennye agacuma kavuye kwa sebukwe cg umugore ashatse korora inkoko hakavamo ko umugore yivumbura agasasa ubwe; nyamara uzi ubwenge yirinda iyo ngeso yo kwivumburira ikiryamo. Kwegerana byonyine bifasha umugore n'umugabo gucubya uburakari bakiyunga( mu buriri). Ikindi iyo basanganywe bene iyo mishyikirano bibagirwa vuba bene utwo tuntu tudashobora gucogoza urukundo n'umunezero basanganywe, kandi ni mu gihe kuko urwo rukundo n'umunezero basanganywe ni byo bibatera inkunga mu minsi mibi, na none utwo tuntu dushobora gusenya urusanzwe rwubatse ku musenyi.



Na none haba igihe umugore ahura n'ingorane zikomeye koko zaba izitewe n'abo bafitanye isano cyangwa se rubanda, maze ari we ari n'umugabo we zikabazahaza. Ubwo urukundo rwabo rushingiye ku bitsina narwo rukahazaharira. Ashobora kurenzaho akagerageza guhisha ububabare n'ubwivumbure afite, ariko ntibibura kumutamaza kandi bikamugaragaraho mu buryo bwinshi. Umugore ubabaye kandi wivumbuye ashobora gushakishiriza amahoro n'amahirwe mu bintu bidafitanye isano n'impamvu nyakuri yatumye yivumbura.



"Ashobora guhinduka umubyeyi ukabya gutetesha abana, agahorana igishyika ntagire amahoro igihe atababona iruhande rwe.Ahangayika ku tuntu twose ndetse n'utudafite umumaro, arararukarara, ugasanga umutima utakimuba mu nda. Byaba ibikomeye, byaba amafuti byose nta kitamukura umutima. Ashobora no guhinduriza imico, buri kantu kose akakanegura, ndetse akirata ntagire icyo ashima n'uwo ashima".



Akurizamo indwara



Hari n'ugerageza kurwanya ubwo burakari n'umwaga bimwaritsemo, akarya, akanywa noneho agakurizamo ubusambo no kubyibuha bikabije. Hari n'urwara indwara nyazo; agacika integer akabura ibitotsi, agaheta intugu, agasaza imburagihe! Hari urwara umutwe udakira, kugundirwa mu nda, cyangwa kugira amazi-nda. Yewe hari n'abarwara ibikanu, n'izindi ndwara zisesa ku mubiri (umubiri we uba wagize ubwivumbure) ndetse akenshi usanga bene abo bagore barwara cyane za rubagimpande, indwara z'ibifu, ibibyimba mu nda n'ibindi, kandi inkomoko yabyo ikaba mu rusobekerane rw'imitsi y'umubiri wose!



Nkuko abahanga mu miterere y'umubiri babivumbuye, umubiri ugizwe n'udutsi twinshi tutabarika, kandi buri gatsi kakagira umurimo wakagenewe. Iyo utwo dutsi dukora ubutitsa biba bibi. Nk'iyp umuntu arakaye, kabone n'iyo yarenzaho ntabigaragaze, hari udutsi twabigenewe dukangarana tukivumbagatanya kuko ari cyo dushinzwe. Iyo rero dukora ubutitsa tugeraho tukaruha tugatangira kononekara, noneho indwara z'amoko yose zikuririraho!



"Ni byiza kandi ni na ngombwa ko abagore bamenya imiterere y'umubiri, ibyo ukunda ibyo wanga, ingorane n'inkurikizi bikurikiraho, kuko akenshi mu muryango usanga ari we ibi byose byasobanuwe haruguru bigeraho cyane kabona nubwo umugabo we na we yaba yasogongeyeho kuri ibyo bizazane!"



Ku ruhande rw'umugabo na we agerwaho n'ingaruka



Si umugore gusa, iyo umugabo nawe adashyikira umunezero agamije arababara, ndetse akiheba. Arivumbura akabigaragaza ku buryo bwe bwa kigabo nyine. Ahindura imico akajya arakazwa n'ubusa, akantu kose kakamutera inabi, agasharira, akarushya (nk'ahazamuka), akitotomba ngo iwe nta gitungana! Ndetse yaba n'umwana we, bagenzi be, bose abona bamufudikira, akantu kose kabaye nubwo kaba koroheje abona ari ishyano riguye.Aratangira akanywa akarenza urugero rwe ndetse yabishobora ntatahe akajya arara iyo. Hari n'ugaragaza umubabaro we mu kazi, ndetse hakaba nubwo akabije bikamugwa nabi. Iyo izo mbaraga atazimariye ku murimo asanganywe azishora mu mushinga ukomeye cyangwa se agacudika n'undi /abandi bagore.



Akurizamo indwara



Igiteye impungenge kinababaje ni uko ashobora gufatwa gufatwa mu mitsi igenga ubugabo bwe bigatuma aba ikiremba. Na none , umugabo ntabura uburyo ahisha agahinda n'umubabaro afite, ariko uko byagenda kose, umutima we ntubura gushenguka. Bose n'umugore bakahashengukira kuko bombi ari uruti rumwe.



Inama /Impanuro



-Kugirango umugore avumbure ikibangamiye umunezero w'umutima we agomba kwimenya, akamenya umugabo we cyane cyane akamenya inzira akwiriye kunyuramo kugirango agere kuri uwo munezero.


Ø Agomba no kumenya imico ya bombi mu byerekeye imishyikirano ishingiye ku


bitsina. Igihe ahuye n'ingorane ashobora gushakishiriza impamvu mu burere bwabo. Nubwo bitoroshye bwose, hari ibice bike umuntu ashobora guheraho akisuzumira ibyo ashoboye:



-"Mu mavuko umuhungu n'umukobwa babeshwaho na nyina ubabyara kurusha se kuko nyina ari we uha uruhinja ibere, akarwuhagira, akarwitaho, akarurera rugakura, bituma rero umwana akunda nyina cyane ".



-Na none iyo umuhungu akomeje gukunda nyina akarinda aba ingaragu, urwo rukundo ni narwo akunda umugore we iyo amaze gushaka.



-Abahanga bagaragaje ko mu busanzwe umukobwa abyiruka akunda is cyane akazaboneraho gukunda umugabo we. Hari igihe ise w'umukobwa atamwitaho mu irera rye kubera umwanya muke cyangwa se uburangare, ntashishikazwe no kumwereka urukundo n'impuhwe amufitiye nkuko umwana abyifuza, Ibyo rero bituma akari kera iyo umukobwa ashyingiwe, adashira amakenga ngo yizere koko urukundo rw'umugabo we. Nkuko kwigarurira urukundo rwa se byamushobeye akiri muto, ni nako ajijwa ntamenye uburyo abyifatamo ngo akundwe n'umugabo. Ntamenya icyo agomba gushyira imbere ngo akitwararike kugirango anononsore umurimo mu mibanire n'umugabo we.


Ø Haba iyo umugore yisuzumye akamenya imbogamizi zimuzitiye kandi


akagerageza kuzirwanya, Niba umugore adashoboye kwifuturira impamvu zimubuza kugera ku munezero, ashobora kubiganirira muganga cyangwa undi muntu yizeyeho ubushobozi n'ubwitonzi.



Na none hari igihe umwana w'umukobwa aba yarateteshejwe na se bigakabya, mbese yishyira akizana ,


Ø mu ishyingirwa rye aba azi neza ko umugabo azamuha ukwezi n'ijuru!,


kugirango abashe kuvumbura ako kantu k'umuteto akarwanye bisaba ko aba ari


umunyabwenge kandi azi gusesengura ibintu n'ibindi!



-Akenshi umugore ababazwa kandi agira agahinda aterwa nuko abona ntacyo bimumariye guhora yihatira kubana neza n'umugabo we, akabona ari we wenyine wigomwa, wihangana, witota, wibabaza, akabona ari we wenyine uhagatwa ashaka umunezero wa bombi kandi umugabo yigaramiye, adashaka kubyivangamo ngo keretse gukora akazi ke nta kindi,




Ø Iyo yitonze akamwiga akanaperereza, akamenya ko akiri muto nyina atabashije


kumwitaho ngo amwerek urukundo n'urugwiro nyina amufitiye nkuko umwana abikenera, kuko nibyo bituma iyo amaze gushaka yishisha umugore we ntamwizere rwose byo kumugaragariza urukundo amufitiye, ngo ejo atavaho amutamaza akamumerera nka nyina.



ü Urukundo, ubugwaneza, n'urugwiro umugore ahorana, nubwo yibwira ko bipfa


ubusa kuko nta nyishyu yabyo abona, ni byo bihindura umugabo bigatuma ashira amakenga, agashyira umutima hamwe akagwa neza, akizera umugore we kandi akamukunda. Kuko umunezero umugore aharanira uzabashimisha bombi ku buryo buhebuje!



ü Umugore wese aberwa no kugira umutima woroshye, ugira ibambe n'ubwuzu,


agomba kuba intwari cyane, akaba kandi intarambirwa ngo ejo atiheba naramuka ahuye n'ingorane nkizo cyangwa n'izindi zose z'urugo, akamenya n'ibindi ibishobora gutokoza urukundo cyangwa umubano wabo basanganywe, kugirango ashishakazwe no kubana n'umugabo we mu munezero, urtse ko hari ibyo atakwifuturira byasobanurwa n'abahanga mu miterere y'umubiri, ariko ibigaragarira buri wese akwiye kubimenya!



Kimwe muri ibyo bintu kandi gikomeye ni igipimo cy'urukundo buri muntu akeneye: buri wese afite mugerwa ihuje na kamere ye,



ü Umugore ushaka kurwubaka mu munezero n'ubudahemuka akwiriye kugena


igipimo cy'urukundo rwe ahereye ku cy'umugabo we, akaba ari cyo kimubera mugerwa, kuko abahanga bagaragaje ko ibitekerezo n'ubwugugu byerekeye ibitsina bitamuhora mu nda, ahubwo abiterwa n'umugabo we.



ü Ntagomba gukurikiza ibitekerezo yiyumvamo cyangwa se yumvana abandi bagore.



ü Ntagomba kwishuka ngo ararikire ibyo yigeze gukora cyangwa kubona(mu


gihe atabigaragarije umugabo we ngo batangirane ikivi kuri icyo gikorwa


gishyashya amwunguye).



ü Agomba kwifatanya na we kugirango ibyo bashoboye bibe byiza kurushaho.


v Iyo abashakanye babishyizeho ubwitonzi, uko iminsi ihita niko


imishyikirano yabo igenda irushaho kubabera UBUKI kandi buri wese akayinezererwamo bitagira urugero.



ü Amagara mazima nayo ni ngombwa kugirango abashakanye banoze


ubwumvikane bwabo, bahuze urugwiro bityo igikorwa cy'imishyikirano ishingiye ku bitsina kigende neza ntawe uhavunikiye, ndetse ahora yitwararitse uko we, abana n'umugabo we bakora kandi bakaruhuka.



Ø Umugore ugeze mu rwe ashimishwa no guteka neza kuko aba akunze


umugabo we kandi ashaka kumushimisha, kugirango amwereke ubuhanga bwe ateka byinshi binyuranye, maze bakabirya batabibariye,



ü Nyamara umugore ugamije kubaka aragereranya kugirango ibyishimo by'inda bitaganza umunezero wo gushyikirana no gushimisha imitima kandi Imana yarabitugabiye.



Ø Umugabo ugaburiwe cyane birenze arabyibuha ntiyongere gushabuka nka


mbere, umwete yahoranaga mu mishyikirano y'urukundo uragabanuka, rimwe na rimwe umugore akibwira ko atakimukunda, akamukeka amababa ngo ahari yaba yigira mu bandi bagore, cyangwa akibwira ko ibyabanje byari agahararo, ahubwo ikintu cyose kigira urugero rwacyo.



ü Amajyambere mu by'imirire no guteka yarasakaye, umugore ashobora


kwigishwa uko ategura amafunguro mu rwego rwo gutunga urugo rwe (akenshi


ntibinahenze) atibagiwe n'umunezero w'umugabo n'uwe bwite, ihame ridakuka ni


uko buri wese akeneye gukunda no gukundwa kandi biruzuzanya.



Ø Abagore benshi bagira ingorane zituruka kuri kamere yabo zikababuza guhimbaza


umurimo wabo mu mishyikirano ishingiye ku bitsina. Igisa n'icyo ni kigatsindwe! kiba kigamije kumusenyera,



Ø Guhindura imico no kugira umwaga bya buri kwezi ubwabyo bishobora


gusembura umugabo uwo ari we wese nubwo yaba tauza nk'intama, ararambirwa akivumbura, akarakara, noneho nawe agakurizamo guhindura imico,



Ø Habaho umugore uhorana umucyo azi no guterurana ikivi n'umugabo we,


nyamara ukwezi kwe kwaba kwegereje agatangira kwijima, akagira agahinda kagaragara, akantu kose kakamutesha umutwe, agakangarana, ndetse ugasanga yashinze iryinyo ku rindi, cyangwa agasa n'indangare akagira amazinda bikabije, agira Impinduka ku bintu byinshi bitarondowe hano…agarura moral iyo imihango ngaruka kwezi ibonetse, akagarura ubugwaneza n'urugwiro asanganywe.



ü Buri mugore akwiye kumenya kubibaho kandi nta wubihuza n'undi akisuzuma


abyitayeho kugirango niba bimubaho agerageze kwiramira no kwiyumanganya muri iyo minsi, birasaba n'umugabo we kubimufashamo aho bidashobotse akamwihanganira bakabiganiraho babyunguranaho inama ku cyakorwa.



ü Birakwiye ku mugore wese kwitwararika isuku muri byose , ariko cyane cyane


imyanya ndangagitsina, kugirango yitegure imibonano mpuzabitsina nta yindi mpumuro yumvikanamo atari iy'igituba: birababaza kuba ibyavuwze haruguruubyujujwe ariko ibyishimo n'umunezero ukabibuzwa n'isuku udakorera umubiri wawe!



UMWANZURO: Ndibwira ko nubwo ari byinshi ariko bivunaguye ntawe byarambira gusobanukirwa cyane agamije kugira ibyishimo n'umunezero" birambye" nacyane ko ntawanze kubigira, nibanze cyane ku bagore nuko ari bo mutima w'urugo, kandi ngo umukurusha aba akurusha urugo, muri rusange byari intangiriro kugirango ubutumwa buzakurikiraho bujye busanga amayira yaraharuwe.



Ndashishikaza ba Nyampinga kutitinya bagatanga ibitekerezo byabo kugirango bishyirwe ahagaragara bigirire bose akamaro (Umwambaro w'abakobwa-gukuna; uko wakwifata mu gihe uwagushimye asanze utanyara; ….) dore ko hari uba akeneye kugira icyo ahinduraho akenshi akahakura ubugororangingo!



Murakoze!



Ni La toute



Umukunzi n'inshuti ya Blog igituba!



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